For many of us the festive season is associated with intense retail therapy and overworked credit cards as we hit crowded retail venues in search of perfect gifts for the grandkids, kids, and our partner or spouse. It’s an annual activity ingrained into our psyche, much like gift buying on birthdays, anniversaries, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day etc.
Then on the big day, we savour the sight of recipients receiving our offerings with delight, excitement and enthusiasm, and metaphorically rub our hands together in satisfaction. That’s Christmas presents done for another year and everyone loved what they got. Mission accomplished.
The Many Benefits Of Giving Gifts
Gift giving has many benefits. It is an acknowledged way of expressing gratitude, and connecting and building stronger bonds with those around us. It also provides important emotional benefits. When we give something special to someone special, our mental health improves and we feel happier about our own lives. Likewise, the recipient’s wellbeing receives a boost when they see someone has gone above and beyond to seek out a special gift for them.
What Makes A Special Gift Even More Special?
Gifts can be material, or experiential. Is either one better than the other?
Research has in fact looked at the psychology of gifting physical objects vs giving something less tangible, like an experience. Interestingly, although people said receiving a physical gift was immediately important, after digging deep into their psyche they invariably found the feelings accompanying the action were more powerful and provided more long-term value than the actual gifts themselves. In other words, even though material gifts eventually lose their value, the emotions invoked by their giving or receiving continue to be valued for much longer.
The ‘What If’ Sense Of Material Gifts
Surveys have also found that buying physical gifts often invokes a sense of ‘what if’[1]. What if I’d bought that colour instead of the one I did. Perhaps I should have bought the next model up, or a different model. And so on. In fact, gift givers often focus more on second-guessing the ‘rightness’ of their purchases than they do enjoying the experience of giving them to someone.
What Happens When You Gift An Experience Instead?
Corresponding research into experiential gifts suggests they have a number of advantages over traditional physical gifts[2]. Notably, an experience is something that doesn’t grow old or become obsolete. Rather, as time goes on, the memories of that experience grow, and become more precious.
Imagine for example the difference between giving a child a replica toy of their favourite cartoon character, or taking them to see that character live somewhere. The toy will invoke excitement and enthusiasm initially but once it’s been played with a few times, it will get cast aside in favour of something brighter and shinier. A trip to see the live character however creates unique memories. It’s an experience of a lifetime and will generate recollections commensurate with that.
You Get To Give More Enjoyment Spread Out Over More Time
They are gifts that keep on giving!
Receivers of experiential gifts get several levels of enjoyment from the gift. First, there is the enjoyment of being told what the gift is. Then there is the anticipation of waiting to do whatever the gift is. Finally, there’s the enjoyment of actually experiencing the gift and building memories that will last for years.
You Can Give More Personalised Gifts
They are uniquely caring gifts.
Experiential gifts are more personal and unique in many ways. They indicate the giver has cared enough to invest time and thought into planning a meaningful gift, and knows the recipient well enough to understand what will be most enjoyed.
You Can Gift A Learning Experience
Learning experiences make great gifts with ongoing benefits.
Consider cooking lessons for a wannabe chef or a cake decorating class for someone who loves baking. The skills acquired with such a gift will benefit the recipient for a lifetime vs perhaps buying them a physical product like a kitchen appliance that will eventually wear out. Your gift may also ignite a passion to go on and achieve bigger things with their newfound skills.
You Can Offer Social Experiences
Many experiential gifts come with the additional gift of spending quality time with family or friends. Whether it’s a Margaret River wine tasting tour, a cruise up the Swan River, or a ticket to a concert by their favourite band, the opportunity to create group memories and forge deeper relationships can be priceless.
You’ll Always Find Something For That ‘Hard To Buy A Present For’ Person
Gifting an experience is great for people who are otherwise hard to buy presents for. They will invariably have an interest or a passion that you can tap into – perhaps they’ve expressed a desire to take a cruise holiday ‘one day’.
Other Interesting Points About Gifts You May Not Know
- Gifting is an important relationship builder and nurturer.
- Buying gifts can cost households up to 2% of their annual income.
- Almost 4/5ths of gift buyers say their most recent gift purchase was a material gift.
The Anthropology Of Gift Giving
Gift giving is not a modern invention. We’ve been doing it since before we first learned to walk upright as a species. It’s not even something uniquely human because other species do it too. Notably, several primate species with close genetic connections to humans are well-known gifters. Studies on chimpanzees and bonobos in particular, our 2 closest primate relatives, have found many ‘gift giving’ parallels with humans.
Prosocial And Nuptial Gifting: The Biology Behind Gift Giving
Although we as humans associate all sorts of noble sentiments with the giving of gifts, research suggests that, biologically speaking, it still comes down to some pretty simple motives. Gift giving at its most basic is inherently about survival, courtship, establishing relationships, and ensuring the gift-giver’s genes get passed on to future generations.
Male chimpanzees for example give food gifts to females they’re courting. Conversely, primate species noted for having serial monogamous relationships, like the Symphalangus syndactylus (siamang gibbon), use gifts for ‘mate-retention’ and ‘mate guarding’.
Gifts And Their Psychological Importance
Have humans have evolved past this point? Tellingly, research done as recently as 2008[3] indicates that ‘fundamentally’ some things never change. The studies found that single males still use gifts to attract females and as a way of broadcasting social status. Attached males still use them to retain their females.
The major difference between us and other species in this regard is that our much larger, better-developed brain can recognise, analyse, and label our motives. We intrinsically understand the implications behind why we’re doing the gifting whereas other species still do it instinctively. We have also become more sophisticated in general about our gifting in terms of what we gift. Likewise, our gift-giving has expanded to include broader family members, friends, and even work colleagues.
The 4 S’s Of Gift Giving
Ultimately, whether material or experiential, prosocial or nuptial, successful gifts share 4 attributes:
- Surprise – the best gifts are a total surprise to the recipient, and what better way to surprise someone than with the opportunity to experience something they’ve always wanted to do, or love doing.
- Sacrifice – the gift giver has sacrificed something (usually cash) to obtain the gift.
- Suspense – once the recipient has received notification of their gift, the suspense builds as they wait to experience or receive it.
- Sharing – most experiential gifts are designed for sharing either with the giver, or with other people in a group or social situation.
Studies show that experiential gifts can usually offer these ‘S’s’ more readily than material gifts. Then there’s the fact material gifts lose their novelty, wear out, break, get old, become obsolete, aren’t entirely appropriate, or are duplicates of something the recipient already has. Experiential gifts overall don’t.
[1] Spending on Experiences Versus Possessions Advances More Immediate Happiness
[2] Experiential Gifts Foster Stronger Social Relationships Than Material Gifts
